I once experienced a reorganization up close. More than 75 jobs were lost. In the end, one in five employees was laid off. The period before that – before the axe hit the chopping block – was mainly one of uncertainty and confusion. You know how these things go.
But I will tell you: I was astonished by the different ways in which the employees dealt with the uncertainty. With the threat of dismissal. With the end of times, in terms of work. The uncertain future.
I saw: mental devastation, apathy, insomnia, depression, impending divorce, budding alcoholism, anger, distorted faces.
And I saw: the ability to put things into perspective, resilience, acceptance, courage, adaptation.
“If we freeze to death, we freeze to death.”
My biggest mistake was that I assumed that 'the old ones' would handle the situation most sensibly. The old ones, that was more or less the batch 48 to 63. The middle ones, so to speak. I assumed - never assume anything, I know - that this group would react calmly and resignedly. As the individual man or woman approached 60, I considered them to be refined. Matured. Sensible and wise. But that is not the case.
You can probably confirm this – from your own experiences. The mental hygiene of the middle-aged was only moderately good.
Mental hygiene is keeping your mind clean. Cleaning is something you have to keep up with and tidying up is part of it. Just ask your grandmother.
What's the deal? I know the answer and it's not that surprising:
fear.
My peers grew up with the rising prosperity. When we were young, the war was still fresh. Life was still somewhat sober and the war was often remembered. There was still plenty of pain. The generation after me – my youngest sister is one of them – was already completely immersed in that prosperity.
Soft drinks and the Silver Fleet. The war still reverberated, we were desperately happy.
We went through life in vain. I studied one thing after another, the government financed our lifestyle. Many of my friends received unemployment benefits for a few years after their student days. Nobody thought that was strange. We bought houses with subsidies and created a family structure. There was no shortage of interesting jobs for highly educated people in the era of abundance. But it was not real freedom. And certainly not without fear.
The certainties disappeared. Money worries appeared. Health problems came along. The capital is suddenly worth less. Not everyone can handle that and that is where the fear lies.
The fears that we do not recognize and acknowledge, they become our limitations. You can only see it when you realize it. For that we have to sweep through our upper room with a broom. Get rid of what can be gotten rid of.
But on average, our attic is tidier than our brain. The lawn in front of your house is neater than your thinking pattern.
That's why I say: work on your mental hygiene.
Put yourself and your situation in the broadest perspective you can. Rinse your brain daily. Meditation is not a hippie word. Practice resilience.
Make sure you are fit. Physical exercise and mental relaxation free your mind. And learn not to see adversity as a final destination. It is a crossroads.
The thirty-somethings and early forties in that organization – you know, the organization that announced a reorganization and where one in five employees was laid off – they were able to cope very well. I’m not a sociologist so I can’t explain it scientifically, but I suspect that they were raised in freedom. Relative freedom, that goes without saying. But freer than their parents. The flourishing prosperity in which the middle-aged grew up, of course, had its unfree aspects.
Whoever is free, has the freedom to do things that – in theory or in practice – are not prevented by other forces. Doing as in: speaking, acting, changing and thinking. Freedom only thrives with confidence in one's own ability. And confidence is the opposite of fear. It is very difficult to live in confidence. But whoever lives in confidence, nothing happens to him.
Hans Ruinemans, boardroom monk