I was on the train to Enschede. A slightly older lady opposite me in a summer dress was talking loudly on her mobile. She had discovered a new gospel. Through a guru.
You know by now how I feel about gurus. By the way: I know the correct spelling is gurus. I find that a strange word. Gurus. To me that sounds like a group of rare rodents.
Under the motto Readability First, I turn them into gurus.
Today the word guru has been completely taken out of context. Guru, that is now equal to peace. Soothing incense. Misty treetops. Echoing singing bowls and bamboo mats. Friendly eyes above an understanding, empathic gaze.
“Follow me and you will be happy.”
The modern version is increasingly common. The young equivalent of the old greybeard with slightly religious intentions. A bouncy guy in sneakers with a man bun on his head. Stirring arm gestures, microphone on the cheek, loud one-liners. Open doors and new opportunities. One-off and now with a discount. “You are not as far as I am.” The more fanatical the guru, the more left the soup.
Spiritual snobbery and esoteric fraud.
Fuck off. A guru is just 'someone who knows a lot about something'. A teacher. A swimming instructor. The judo teacher. You. Aunt Tineke who makes lace so beautifully. All gurus.
The lady on the train referred to a certain Martijn. I recognized him immediately when she spoke about him. Martijn has seen the light and tries to convince everyone of his concept of happiness. For that you have to pay a lot.
Happiness may cost something, Martijn believes.
Besides happiness, Martijn also markets freedom. That is in a different concept, a different packaging. You can also buy that from Martijn. More advantageous together. I bet he will soon offer oxygen for sale.
Oh yes, that Martijn. He once borrowed money from me for the return trip home, after a 'very successful event'. I have to say that was a while ago. Maybe he is filthy rich now by marketing happiness, freedom and perhaps soon a concept with unlimited oxygen.
The followers of the self-proclaimed gurus buy the elusive.
Martijn had captivated my fellow traveler with Lifestyle Design. “To completely change your life,” she cackled excitedly into her phone.
“That is Lifestyle Design.”
Completely change your life? Poor thing, I thought. I held my breath. She paid for it too.
With my heart in my mouth and my toes curled, I listened further. I shook my head softly. First of all, the term 'Lifestyle Design' is of course not Martijn's own making. Martijn simply learned the book The 4-hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss by heart.
Tim is in turn a follower of Tony Robbins. Fine, I have no objection. If it works, spreading is an excellent idea. But beware of the guru. The true religion of the guru is often simply Big Money.
Lifestyle Design has been around for as long as Adam and Eve were thrown out of paradise to make their own luck. The definition of Lifestyle Design is that every person should arrange his or her life around the things and things and people that he or she loves.
I agree with Adam, by the way. He left paradise and designed his own existence. That hurt, sometimes, but it gave experiences. What good is a safe life if it doesn't shape you as a person?
Lifestyle Design requires you to think about your current lifestyle and actively work on the lifestyle of your choice. But not like guru Martijn prophesied on stage at his event. Or in his podcast.
Because you don't have to completely change your life to design your ideal lifestyle. And you certainly don't have to pay for it.
Big changes usually make you unhappy. Small changes have a life-size effect.
Hans Ruinemans, boardroom monk