Trust is the basis of the economy. As if you don't know that. But trust is broader than that. Trust is the basis of every relationship. Perhaps of every action you take. Without trust, you do nothing.
Trust is the hallmark of a well-performing organization. If there is trust within a company – you can read that in the annual reports and you can feel it in the hallways – then you can assume that everything is going well there too.
Employees in companies with high mutual trust are more productive, loyal, healthy. They think operationally and the profit is higher. They take the halo of trust with them to the outside world, which means that deals generate more value.
So that trust is absolutely fantastic
The desire for trust is in our design as humans. We trust very much. What trust exactly is – the definition – is difficult to explain. It has to do with 'optimistic surrender' and with 'believing in goodness'.
However, we are not stupid and naive either. We are learning beings, and along the way we learn that not everything and everyone is trustworthy. We are quite opportunistic in that. Sometimes it suits us to hold on to trust. If we no longer have that trust, then we have to turn away from this person, the idea or this organization. And we don't always feel like doing that.
I say: Facebook. Facebook is of course just plain unreliable. We know that. We are not crazy. But because we do not want to do without Facebook, we just hold on to the thin appearance of trust.
We have simply become dependent on – in this case – Facebook. Not physically or financially, but in terms of principles and positions or habits. The same goes for political figures. Canceling trust turns your beliefs upside down.
Here we come to the side effect. There is one factor more dominant than trust and that is dependency. Dependency is a very unsportsmanlike opponent.
It takes hostages, it nags, it blackmails and it forces
Dependency is not charming. It is not pretty, it is not an achievement. You do not get a certificate for dependency. Dependency is certainly not a sign of self-direction.
Now it is not that dramatic. We are imperfect people after all. If you do not harm anyone with your dependency, if you are not bothered by it and do not get into a moral dilemma, then you can safely leave it as it is. But if you do not feel comfortable with it, then you benefit from letting go. That looks nice, it is an achievement and there is a hint of self-direction in it.
The biggest obstacle is signaling and acknowledging. After that, all you have to do is to detach. After detaching, it becomes very difficult for a while. You will miss it. You have to get used to the twisted belief or the other point of view. You may have to find another confidant. Or a new idea that suits you better.
My question to you is this: look around in your own life and think about where and with which party or person the relationship of trust has gone too far to a position of dependency. That could be a customer relationship, it could be a social domain, a friendship, a digital habit or even your business position.
Trust is necessary, but beware of the side effect.
Stay as free as you can be.
Hans Ruinmans, boardroom monk